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A Totally Titillating Tale of Titanic Ti---er Proportions! Titanic 2000 is a steamy erotic adventure aboard a new, although similarly destined, ship of dreams (wet ones), Titanic. This is one sexy vampire movie that will not have you sinking (except for the boat) to the bottom of the sea. It is a silly misadventure that is as funny as it is sexy. We open immediately into a super sexy vampiric encounter between Vladamina (Tammy Parks) and an unfortunate luscious maiden. Things get pretty wild, but alas, the poor maiden is unable to sustain the gift of vampire life that Vladamina gives. Thus begins the journey aboard the new TITanic 2000. While we are introduced to the crazy and zany passengers and crew, Vladamina's henchmen secure her coffin in the hull. Tragedy is most definitely foretold as we learn that the ship's hull has been made out of aluminum to cut costs! The antics of both crew and passengers are simply hilarious with too many chuckles to mention. (Nothing beats a bunch of wacky folks steaming across the Atlantic aboard a piece of aluminum. You know you are in for some fun.) Meanwhile, Vladamina has awakened for a snack before continuing her search for a soulmate. Her henchmen deliver one of the Titanic's engine crew and her game of seduction begins. The crew mate is transfixed as she peals away garments in a dance that gets the adrenaline flowing, but leaves him a bit "drained" in the end. In their cabin, sexy Shari O'Kari (Tina Krause) is a bit worked up after her shower and tries to get her rock star boyfriend in the mood. BUT there is no arousing this turkey(OK-we find this part a bit hard to swallow!) , so she decides to take a stroll around the ship. On deck she runs into an artist who wants to paint her portrait. He is no budding Leo and she books it out of there, but Vladamina spots her before she can get her clothes back on. Now, Vladamina has her sites set on Shari and shows her what she has to offer. A hot, sexy display of passion erupts between Vladamina and another voluptuous woman right before Shari's very eyes! The vampiric kiss is hers if she wants it, but the Titanic is destined to sink! When the water starts to flow, where are they to go? Will their best assets keep them afloat? You'll have to pick up Titanic 2000 to clear the steam and catch these girls in action! PRODUCTION NOTES Wow! What can we say about naked beautiful women? We love em! BUT it takes much more than breasts to keep TITANIC 2000 afloat, and here's how the moviemakers delivered: Director John P Fedele delivers a slapstick, fun, sexy movie full of one-liners, innuendoes, parodied names and acting and do not forget the beautiful women. There are moments of silly computer graphics mixed with live action and the only complaint we had was with a few segments done against virtual sets. Tammy Parks portrays Vladamina with such voluptuousness that our blood is still afire! Keep those fangs sharp! Tina Krause is the hot Shari O'Kari and we still do not believe her wanker rock star boyfriend wasn't aroused! Michael T Thomas is Eegor! A wonderful portrayal of the classic character with just the right spice of humor to make it really zany! Jacob Bogert is Mareem, Vladamina's other henchman, and he plays the part deadpan. Wonderful job! We know you had to be cracking up off camera! John Fedele does double duty as the rock star boyfriend, Glitter Bolan. AND you weren't aroused by Shari O'Kari! Oh boy! Suzanne Lenore, Joe Prussak, Bob MacKay, David Fine, Michael R Thomas, Jeff Faoro, Elizabeth Cintron, Bill Hellfire, Jon Fidelli, Zachery Snygg, Pete Jacelone, Peter O'Hara, John Link, Mike Raso, J. Feefifofimdeli (HA!), Zippy (The Clown), Paige Turner, Mikey Ovum, Fred Mekeel, Misty Mundae, Joey Smack, Roxanne Michaels, Nathan Larman, and Kyle La Ferrera portray the zany passengers and crew about the ill-fated TITanic 2000! Kudos to all for playing really crazy parts! Set your sites on TITANIC 2000 at | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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